Peashooter's Tour
by Painty
Summary: Peashooter is going to give you a tour of the lawn. You get to meet his plant friends, watch them fight the zombies, see the Zen Garden, and you even get souvenir money. Dedicated to Douzuki Soulpower.


**This is something I thought that was cute to write while watching my older brother play PvZ.**

**For Douzuki Soulpower, watching him play PvZ is quite a show. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Plants vs. Zombies. If I said I did, don't you think zombie lawyers would have my brain by now? :/**

**~*Peashooter's Tour*~**

Hello.

My name is Peashooter.

I'm a plant that protects lawns from invading zombies.

Now, you thought there were no such things as zombies, correct? Well you thought wrong! They break out of the graveyard and come onto the lawn, eating us to get past and go into our owner's house to eat his brain. What's left of us doesn't like to watch that, or hear the sickening sounds and our owner screaming "NOOOO!" because we failed to protect the lawn.

Anyway, that's just what I do. Want me to show you around before we have to defend the lawn again?

…

Alright, great! Follow me.

**XxX**

Let me introduce everyone. This is my best friend in the whole wide world, Snow Pea.

These are my brothers Repeater (emphasize that "pea" part) and Threepeater.

This is my friend Wall-nut, and his older brother Tall-nut.

This is my friend Sunflower, she gives lots of sun so we can be planted.

This is another friend of mine, Torchwood. When our peas go through on the fire on his head, they get singed, and turn into fireballs which are twice as powerful!

I have many many plant friends that I could introduce you to, but there wouldn't be enough time.

_Dingy dingy ding!_

That's the zombie bell! When the plants on the roof see zombies coming out the graveyard, their vines go near the front door and ring the bell, to let us know zombies are coming, and to alert our owner to hide somewhere until the bell is rung again. When the bell is rung a second time, that means the zombies are gone for now.

Now, it's time to defend the lawn!

**XxX**

Those creepy-looking guys are the zombies. We have to kill them.

…

What? Oh yes, we know they are technically already dead. We have to…get rid of them, is that more to your liking?

Uh-oh, here they come! I have to get planted!

…

What? You want to come watch us fight them? No way! It's too dangerous! If we fail, the zombies will eat your brain too!

…

I'm serious! You really shouldn't! You should hide somewhere.

…

You're insane!

…

Oh, I guess there's no getting past you. But you have to promise me you WILL be careful. Promise?

…

OK, good. Break your promise and you lose your brain. I'm just warning you.

**XxX**

Alright, we're all planted. We have to multiply ourselves to protect the lawn, of course. Sunflower helps out with that a lot, because she multiplies herself too and that's a lot more sun.

Tall-nut and his clones are standing tall to protect us. They are placed inside Pumpkins. Eating the Pumpkins AND Tall-nut will take quite a while, and it's more than enough time to shoot the zombie's head off and watch it's body fall, as they both return to the dust of the earth to be reborn from the graveyard.

But we never take the time for granted.

…

What? You wanna help get rid of the zombies?

…

Y-you must be out of your mind! And you WILL be if you help!

…

OK, sorry about the pun. Anyway, you can't help us! Haven't you ever seen a zombie horror movie before? They eat human flesh! Have you heard the saying "Left For Dead"? Well those guys are the dead you're left for!

…

Why do you want to help us?

…

You're just trying to lend a helping hand? Well there are some things you can't help with, OK?

…

UGH! What part of "you can't help us" don't you understand?

…

Well fine! If you don't want your brain anymore, then you can help. Go over there and see if you can get the zombies' heads off.

…

What? Oh, you're nervous. I understand. But see, we're plants who were made especially for defending lawns. We aren't ordinary plants. This is our job and you're just visiting. You're our guest. We can do this, honest! We've done it so many times before, but who's even counting?

…

You don't have to be sorry. Just let us handle it.

**XxX**

OK! The zombies are gone. For now. Melon-pult, ring the bell!

_Dingy dingy ding!_

Our owner is coming out of hiding. We're a bit tired.

…

Huh? You want to see more? Well, I've shown you what we do, you've seen how we do it, I've introduced you to some of my friends, what more could I possibly show you?

…

What are you pointing at?

…

The Zen Garden? You want to go see the Zen Garden? Um, OK.

**XxX**

These are small versions of us plants. Our owner has to make sure he waters them often. Oh, they need watering now. Pass me the watering can, please.

Thank you.

OK, they are all watered. Collect the money and keep it. It can be your souvenir.

…

What's our owner's name? Well, that's classified information, sorry.

…

Huh? Oh, don't be alarmed. That's just Stinky the Snail. He's not exactly from around here, he's visiting us too! He's helping collect coins from the Zen Garden plants. Don't worry; he doesn't really smell. He's quite clean, actually.

**XxX**

Well now I think I've shown you everything.

…

What are you pointing at now?

_Dingy dingy ding!_

…

- turns around - Oh great.

…

What's the question?

…

Um, I'm not sure myself why they always go after this lawn.


End file.
